Saturday, January 8, 2011

Day 03 — 30 Days of Truth...Something you have to forgive yourself for.

When my Grandma ( better known as Mom-Mom)passed away she left me her wedding ring, something she had told me for years she wanted me to have.  I wore is for about a year on a necklace around my neck, until I was ready to part with it and make it bigger to put on my finger next to my wedding ring.  My Grandmas ring meant the world to me.  I wore it everyday, unit one summer day when I took my son to T-Ball practice and they didn't have enough kids to play catch with so I put on my mitt, played catch with him and 2 other boys.  I drove home, we had dinner and went into the Hot Tub, then all of a sudden I noticed that my ring was gone. I was sick to my stomach.  We drained the hot tub the next day.  I went to the baseball field and searched High and Low that ring was nowhere to be found.  Making me sicker to my stomach.  

I called my mom and told her what had happened and she was so mad at me.  She told me I was irresponsible and that I should have never been given it.  She then told me that I would have to call my Grandpa and tell him that I lost it.  


I called my Grandpa the next day and told him what had happened, and that I was so sorry and that I felt so sick to my stomach and that I was so sorry that I let him down because I lost it.  My Grandpa told me that he was not mad at me and that things like that happen.  He even went as far as telling me that my grandma probably came back from the great beyond and took it with her.  My grandma was kinda selfish but I never could believe that she would be like that.  She always for years told me that she wanted me to have her ring when she passed away.  I'm sure he just told me that because he knew how bad I felt.  


To this day, I feel really bad that I lost my Grandma's ring.  It was something that was part of her that she wanted me to have and I lost it.  I know my Grandma is with me and her ring was just something material but she left it to me and I got nothing else except that.  


Its been years since I lost my Grandma's ring and now that my Grandpa is gone now more then ever do I fell bad that I lost her ring.  My Grandpa gave my son his wedding ring and he gave me a ring that we bought together in Hawaii in 1987.  I wish I could wear them together.  


I should really forgive myself for losing her ring, maybe someday.  But not today.

7 comments:

  1. I don't know what else to say other than this post was really touching and my thoughts are with you right now! What wonderful photos of you and your grandparents. Hold on to them and your memories =)

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  2. Thank you. This 30 days of Truth is really digging deep into my soul.

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  3. Wow! That is a tough one. I love what your grandpa said about it "She probably came back and took it." Hold on to the memories, not the tangible. It was her ring, but it was not her love, you still have that. Forgive yourself. It's time.

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  4. I know how you feel! I have my grandma's wedding ring as well and I used it as my wedding ring. I'm so scared of losing it that I never actually wear it.

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  5. Thanks Jill. I hold onto the memories and know that the ring was only a material object, and she is always with me.

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  6. I have some of my Grandma's other jewelry and wear it on occasion but, like you Jackie I am so afraid that I will loose another piece, that I am so paranoid when I wear any of it.

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  7. I am still sick about a painting my grandma painted that I accidently threw away because it was under a piece of cardboard at the bottom of a box (to keep it flat). It's easier said than done to forgive yourself for some of these things I think...

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